Thursday, May 31, 2007
{ 7:01 AM }
man..my maid's going home for like 10 days. i'm really going to miss her. at first i thought everything would be fine,because she'll be coming back afterall, but nope. until the day before she's leaving, i becamse weird. on my way home from plaza sing(we want there to watch pirates), i was on the verge of crying, but because there were many people around, i controlled myself. after reaching home, i wanted to cry all over again. i dont know why too..this cant be explained. i made an excuse to take a bath and quickly swallowed my tears back. just recently, this feeling worsened! man..when i was doing my homework at the dining table, my maid was mopping the floor and she talked to me about what will happen when she's gone and stuff like that. i wanted to cry again. so i went into the toilet and pretended i was pooing. i took a long time there and because i figured out that if i walked out of the toilet red-eyed, she'll suspect that i was crying, so i followed the method the television taught us-fill the basin with water and put your face into the water, then cry. but it was as bad as before. i dont understand why, although i tried to convince myself that she'll be back, the tears still flowed uncontrollably. why?? ah! she'll have to go one day. i cant stand it. i'm having a bad mood now and my stupid mother aggravated it by doing some stupid things. why cant she leave me alone to sort out my own affairs. why must she always stick her head into my life. it's MY life, should I be the one who choose what i want. ha. i had a quarrel with her. and i bet this will carry on until maybe a few days later. this will be horribly awkard as there'll only be her and me at home. i hate the feeling of loneliness.